Saturday, April 23, 2011

It's late, I'm tired, and it's just the beginning. I don't want to fall asleep.

I need to hire someone. I've stayed up between midnight and 2 am designing jewelry and wake up at 6:30. My body wears out quicker than my imagination and creativity. It is amusing to recognize the things that I am capable of accomplishing in a time of inspiration and passion. 

I finally pulled myself away tonight at 1:30 after finishing a large piece of jewelry. I was relaxing and I realized I was experiencing what most business owners experience in the beginning stages; long hours and little social time. I wondered how long this would go on for. How long could I push my physical boundaries of little sleep? When could I hire an assistant to help me? For that matter when can I quit my full time job and do jewelry full time? The fear of “Can I make it?” pops into my mind 2 dozen times a day. I know I will do well, I get caught up on the “how” of it and then the fear kicks in.

Then back to the mental checklist. I have a lot to do in a short period of time. I could get it all done if I didn't sleep, but that seems like a pour choice in this moment. I'm starting to search for the things that I can go without and just get by on the minimum. My cupboards display that theory well. I've lost some weight since I started doing this.

Today I spent my last dollar on beads for my launch tomorrow when I actually need food. I have 1 bag of rice, 1/4 cup of granola, plenty of coffee, frozen sliced squash and zucchini, and olives that I think might be bad. It doesn't leave much to choose from. I feel like a "starving artist." 

I like it.

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